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1. |
why we exist
00:34
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I think I know why we exist.
I think I know why we’re here.
I think I know why we exist.
But I’m not gonna tell you.
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2. |
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I’m a real cool guy
And I am so fly.
Snap my fingers to the sky
Cuz I’m a real cool guy.
I’m probably the coolest guy you’ve ever seen
If you looked closely at my clothes you’d see they’re clean
I think I’m just as winning as Charlie Sheen
I really put line there cuz it rhymes you see
If you looked at my library you’d be shocked
I’ve got books and movies even a clock
Wait what no i said clock
C-L-O-C-K no way not Glock
Cool guys don’t have guns oh wait they do
The I guess I might not be cooler than you
Oh wait I am
It says so on this garbage can
Heh heh heh um go to the hook man
I’m a real cool guy
And I am so fly.
Snap my fingers to the sky
Cuz I’m a real cool guy.
(Improvised Second Verse)
I’m a real cool guy
And I am so fly.
Snap my fingers to the sky
Cuz I’m a real cool guy.
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3. |
Villainelle
01:50
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The man, he dallied on the windowsill.
He looked over the cityscape around.
He regretted his choices on that hill.
The one he was with her desires he did not fulfill
He should have stayed on the ground.
The man, he dallied on the windowsill.
His mistakes were just mistakes but still,
To his choices, he is bound.
He regretted his choices on that hill.
He knew that he caused tears to spill.
He knew he made happiness drown.
The man, he dallied on the windowsill.
He thought he could fix it if he took a pill.
He thought his struggles were something profound.
He regretted his choices on that hill.
At her cry of horror, with hope, he did fill.
He did not expect to hear her sound.
The man, he dallied on the windowsill.
He regretted his choices on that hill.
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4. |
Wild Goose Chase
02:31
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I need to find a way to go
That doesn’t jeopardize my future
I need to find a path to take
That doesn’t send me on that wild goose chase
That wild goose chase.
Wild Goose Chase
Wild Goose Chase
Wild Goose Chase
Wild Goose Chase
I need to find a way to go
That doesn’t jeopardize my chances
I need to find a path to take
That doesn’t make me do that screaming kickflip.
That screaming kickflip.
Screaming Kickflip
Screaming Kickflip
Screaming Kickflip
Screaming Kickflip
Just lead me on the way
Just lead me on the way
Just lead me on the way
Just lead me on the way
I need to find a way to go
That doesn’t jeopardize lifespan
I need to find a path to take
That doesn’t turn me to that fractured flambe.
That fractured flambe.
Fractured Flambe
Fractured Flambe
Fractured Flambe
Fractured Flambe
I need to find a way to go
That doesn’t jeopardize my future
I need to find a path to take
That doesn’t send me on that wild goose chase
That wild goose chase.
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5. |
Cat Rap
03:25
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I’m a cat
But you all know that
I run around the world killing dragons with my bat
I’ve got a posse, that’s where it’s at.
Everyone I walk by takes off their hat.
I’m a cat
But you all know that
I run around the world killing dragons with my bat
I’ve got a posse, that’s where it’s at.
Everyone I walk by takes off their hat.
I’m the champion
Of the world you see
Everyone I pass by lookin’ at me
When I’m in town they cheer “rah rah rah”
Every time I joke they all laugh “ha ha ha”
It’s getting kinda crazy
I just don’t understand
What is it with these people
They’d eat out of my hand
They sneak up to my windows just to look at me
But all I really ask for is some privacy
I’m a cat
But you all know that
I run around the world killing dragons with my bat
I’ve got a posse, that’s where it’s at.
Everyone I walk by takes off their hat.
I’m a cat
But you all know that
I run around the world killing dragons with my bat
I’ve got a posse, that’s where it’s at.
Everyone I walk by takes off their hat.
All the children in the world
They all look up to me
The good things I’m doin’
They copy when they see
I find I really like it to see children doin’ good
Since I’ve been around they’ve been actin’ like they should
I still don’t really think
The people should spy
I never feel alone
There’s always prying eyes
I guess that’s kinda selfish
That’s not how I wanna be
They ain’t being elfish
Children are better cuz of me.
I’m a cat
But you all know that
I run around the world killing dragons with my bat
I’ve got a posse, that’s where it’s at.
Everyone I walk by takes off their hat.
I’m a cat
But you all know that
I run around the world killing dragons with my bat
I’ve got a posse, that’s where it’s at.
Everyone I walk by takes off their hat.
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6. |
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I shut down my laptop
And I went downstairs
I turned on the TV
And threw away my cares
There was an advertisement
That caught my eye
It was something people
Would actually buy.
A Desktop computer for your room
A desktop computer for your room
It was beckoning for me
I had to give it a try
Something about it just called, you see
I wasn’t sure why
So I called up their number
Talked to the person on the line
I placed my order
And waited for it to arrive.
A Desktop computer for your room
A desktop computer for your
It was a desktop computer in my room
Ayyeeaayeeeayeeyaeeya
A Desktop computer for my room
Ohoowhoaooowhoaho
I bought a desktop computer for my room
Hooo hoooo oh oooh yeah ee yeah yeah yeah
A desktop computer for my room
Oh ooh ooh oh whooooa
(a couple of minutes of vocal riffing)
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7. |
Terzanelle
02:06
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The place I sit is where I tend to stay,
where no one thinks to look for my mistakes.
The place where I feel like it’s safe to play.
Somewhere inside me, the darkness awakes,
sending me deep below down to that place,
where no one thinks to look for my mistakes.
I stand within myself without a trace.
The swirling void of death in which I burn,
sending me deep below down to that place
The institution where they make me learn,
pushing me off the cliff that hides my fear.
The swirling void of death in which I burn.
The world keeps me from dropping just a tear,
and I find myself moving toward a state,
pushing me off the cliff that hides my fear.
Don’t trust the feelings that I do dictate.
The place I sit is where I tend to stay,
and I find myself moving toward a state,
The place where I feel like it’s safe to play.
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8. |
Tomatoes
02:43
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Tomatoes
Yeah yeah
Tomatoes
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Tomatoes
Yeah yeah
Tomatoes
Yeah y-y-y-y-y-yeah
Tomatoes
Dey’s a fruit yeah
Tomatoes
What a wonderful loot
Tomatoes
They of the times
Tomatoes
Why I write these rhymes
Tomatoes
Yeah yeah
Tomatoes
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Tomatoes
Yeah yeah
Tomatoes
Yeah y-y-y-y-y-yeah
Tomatoes
They ain’t Potatoes
Tomatoes
Take 'em to Barbados.
Tomatoes
Round like Tornadoes
Tomatoes
Tomatoes
Tomatoes
Yeah yeah
Tomatoes
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Tomatoes
Yeah yeah
Tomatoes
Yeah y-y-y-y-y-yeah
Wait… I don’t even like tomatoes.
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9. |
i'm not a rave
03:56
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I woke up one morning
To a party at my house
Everyone was invited
Except me and my mouse
They had the bass pumping
And tech beats out the door
When I walked down the stairs
They were dancing on the floor
They waved their glow sticks in the air
And it shook me to the core.
I’m not a rave
I’m not a rave
My buddy is all the rage
But I’m not a rave
I went outside
To escape the lights and noise
I had to sit down
And relax with the kois
But there were leaves in the pond
And they were scattered all around
There was a note from my neighbor
It was all I found
It said he had put them there
And it made my heart pound
I’m not a rake
I’m not a rake
My buddy, he ate the cake
But I’m not a rake
When the party ended
I had to clean up all the mess
It was just left for me
It made me upset
Dirty dishes in the sink
And trash on the ground
They even left behind the stuff
That was used to run the sound
I sat down on the couch
I didn’t want to get around
I’m not a maid
I’m not a maid
My buddy is getting laid
But I’m not a maid
I’m not a rave
I’m not a rave
My buddy, he isn't great
But I’m not a maid
My buddy, he isn't great!
But I’m not his maid
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10. |
Chicken Song
00:21
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Bawk bawk bawk
Bawk bawk bawk bawk
Baawk bawk
Bawk
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11. |
Bawk
01:26
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12. |
Batteries
00:51
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Oh no it’s a catastrophe
It comes down to nothing but apathy
It’s a real big problem can’t you see
None of the remotes have batteries
I looked in all the drawers, high and low
I couldn’t find them anywhere in my house so
I checked my garage and all over outside
There was nothing those places had to hide
I went to the store and to my surprise
2 for 12 bucks. I nearly cried
Can’t afford that on my salary
Why do none of my remotes have batteries?
All the stores were expensive, empty, or closed
Why did I spend all my money on food and clothes?
All I wanted was Netflix, but this is how it goes.
No batteries in my remotes. I think I might explode.
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13. |
Bread In Your Braces
02:59
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It was embarrassing
But not for me for you
There wasn’t very much,
Much that I could do
I tried to warn you
Before you left
I guess you didn’t
Catch my drift
“You got bread in your braces,”
Your date said to you
You got bread in your braces
Before that, she said, “ew”
You got bread in your braces
You know it’s true
You got bread in your braces
Can’t blame me for not telling you
You know you shouldn’t be calling me
Those nasty names
You had bread in your braces
And only yourself to blame
If you had listened
You wouldn’t have this pain
Check yourself in the mirror
Maybe use your brain
“You got bread in your braces,”
Your date said to you
You got bread in your braces
Before that, she said, “ew”
You got bread in your braces
You know it’s true
You got bread in your braces
Can’t blame me for not telling you
You thought it was not that bad
Though I told you it was
You can’t be mad at me
Just because
If you were that prepared
You would have brushed your teeth
But I’m not gonna fight you
I don’t want no beef
Maybe next time, don’t make the same mistake
Maybe next time, save yourself the ache.
Maybe next time, give yourself a break.
Maybe next time, don’t eat a bunch of bread before your date.
“You got bread in your braces,”
Your date said to you
You got bread in your braces
Before that, she said, “ew”
You got bread in your braces
You know it’s true
You got bread in your braces
Can’t blame me for not telling you
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14. |
Paradelle
02:24
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In the moonless darkness of tears, the spirits fade,
In the moonless darkness of tears, the spirits fade,
Beyond this moment of ourselves, the oceans seek,
Beyond this moment of ourselves, the oceans seek,
The moonless oceans seek tears of beyond the spirits.
In this, the moment of darkness ourselves fade.
On the cold mountain of the tears, the young ones seek,
On the cold mountain of the tears, the young ones seek,
In the child of death, the children rejoice,
In the child of death, the children rejoice,
The cold, young children rejoice in the tears of death,
On the mountain of the child, the ones seek.
After the rain of the soul, your past lovers hurt,
After the rain of the soul, your past lovers hurt,
Beside the river of discord the old ones breathe,
Beside the river of discord the old ones breathe,
The rain beside the river of your hurt, old soul.
After the discord of past lovers, the ones breathe.
Moonless, the rain of tears on the mountain of old.
After the lovers seek death beyond the hurt.
Darkness, the oceans fade in the cold tears.
Rejoice! This moment beside of the discord your past ones breathe.
The river of the soul in the child of ourselves.
Children seek spirits of the young ones.
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15. |
Chocolate Donut
00:39
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Life isn’t always bad
With a chocolate donut to be had.
Life isn’t always bad
With a chocolate donut, it can be rad!
How can you be sad?
With a chocolate donut
With a chocolate donut
You’ll be glad!
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16. |
Cool Guy Anthem Redux
01:51
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I’m a real cool guy
And I am so fly.
Snap my fingers to the sky
Cuz I’m a real cool guy.
I’m probably the coolest guy you’ve ever seen
If you looked closely at my clothes you’d see they’re clean
I think I’m just as winning as Charlie Sheen
I really put that line there cuz it rhymes you see
If you looked at my library you’d be shocked
I’ve got books and movies even a clock
Wait what no I said clock
C-L-O-C-K no way, not Glock
Cool guys don’t have guns oh wait they do
Then I guess I might not be cooler than you
Oh wait I am
It says so on this garbage can
Heh heh heh um go to the hook man
I’m a real cool guy
And I am so fly.
Snap my fingers to the sky
Cuz I’m a real cool guy.
(Improvised Second Verse)
I’m a real cool guy
And I am so fly.
Snap my fingers to the sky
Cuz I’m a real cool guy.
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17. |
The Sad, Sad Dog
01:34
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This is the story of the saddest dog
Banjo, the sad, sad dog
You never knew a sadder dog
Banjo, the sad, sad dog
He lies by the door
When his family goes out
If you drive past his house
You’ll hear his sad howl.
This is the story of the saddest dog
Banjo, the sad, sad dog
You never knew a sadder dog
Banjo, the sad, sad dog
He whines and cries
When anybody leaves
If you get in your car
You’ll hear his doggy pleas
This is the story of the saddest dog
Banjo, the sad, sad dog
You never knew a sadder dog
Banjo, the sad, sad dog
Banjo, the sad, sad dog!
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18. |
The Secret Track
04:21
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Why hello.
It seems you’ve made it this far.
Congratulations.
Welcome to…
The secret track.
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The Lossless Few Wisconsin
Just a person making noises on the internet.
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